My view of homemaking has definitely changed over the years, and thank God for that! I used to think that homemaking was this role that I needed to perfect so that I would be able to be a solid wife or mother. When I looked at my future self I put pressure on myself to be a great cook, a cleaning extraordinaire, and know a thing or two about keeping those pillows fluffed.
Here was my reality: I burned quesadillas on the weekly ( I am Hispanic… this really should not be happening…), I did not know how to budget, and grocery shopping became a pretty stressful part of my week. So when I got engaged you could say that the pressure was definitely elevated.
It was time to really dive into what it means to be a woman of God in this area and to better understand the beauty of homemaking. The freeing part of this is that taking care of your home or future home is not something that is just saved for when you get married, this is an opportunity that you can start right now wherever you are in life.
For you single girls learning these skills is so crucial for not just learning how to take care of yourself and gaining independance, but to better care for others around you in love and servanthood. Cooking no longer just has to be something you learn for your future husband and children, but a tool that you can use to feed the hungry, and love on people.
For you engaged and married girls, homemaking is not just this 1950s view of womanhood, but homemaking can be this wonderful view into God’s design when it comes to ministry. As women who are engaged or married, the home is our first and most important ministry. The way we serve and honor our family and husbands in our homes lay the groundwork for how well we can serve others when we walk outside our front doors.
Here are some practical ideas and tools that can help you enter into learning what it means to be a homemaker, a person who is the hands and feet of your home and community, and a woman who is not going after being self serving, but cultivating a servant’s heart.
- Learn From The Wise
I started to seek out women in different phases of life who showed strength in my personal areas of weakness. There would be days where I would just hang out at their house and watch them plan their week, and I would ask questions on how I could apply these tools in my own life. There was even a time when I went grocery shopping with a friend of mine who is a mom, because I had no idea how to strategically shop for groceries and stay within budget. These moments have been crucial in my journey to learning what it looks like to take care of my home.
- Build Strong Organization Habits
Try not to have the mindset that taking care of your home and having organization is something only for your future. These skills are so valuable right now wherever you are in life. If you are still at home, living in your college dorm or apartment, and even married. Organization and seeking to build strong and healthy habits with your finances, home organization, communication, as well as prayer life are all aspects of building a peaceful and organized home. For me personally, these were not habits that I built early in life, but later. These tools are not just beneficial for homemaking, but these are key life skills that will enrich your relationships, your academic/career life, and honestly help you to be an overall well rounded person.
- Seek God’s Design, Not The Worlds
Take a look at these verses:
Genesis 2:18 ESV Then the Lord God said, “It is not good that the man should be alone; I will make him a helper fit for him.”
Proverbs 31:18 ESV She perceives that her merchandise is profitable. Her lamp does not go out at night.
Proverbs 31:26 ESV She opens her mouth with wisdom, and the teaching of kindness is on her tongue.
Right from the very beginning our role as women has held a great place of significance and beauty. When God created Adam he could have easily moved on and continued with creation, but he chose not to. Instead he took Adam’s rib and made a woman. Then proceeded to explain how his creation of man was missing something, and so Eve was born. Being a woman can be difficult in so many ways, but can we just remind ourselves in the midst of this hard and “ girl boss” preaching world. We as women are created in the image of God himself. No fear and societal degradation can take that away.
So when looking at your role at home, turn away from the pressures the world is giving you to prove yourself as a woman. See homemaking and being a woman as an opportunity. “Grab a hold of the sword of the spirit, which is the word of God,” and speak truth to this area of life. Bake an awesome pie if you so choose, start a company, raise 10 children or 2, go into fashion.. or mechanical engineering, and along the way praise the God who knit you and breathed purposeful life into you as a woman of his image.
Homemaking does not have to be this mold that we fill, and there does not have to be this fear of not measuring up. Practice makes progress. Keep going after God for wisdom, strengthen those weak areas, and thank him for the gifts and abilities he has given you.